Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Twenty-five words: take two

So my last attempt at telling a story in 25 words didn't really work out (I'm not even going to attach a link). No one understood what I was talking about. Not everything can be told clearly in 25 words. So I'm going to make a second attempt. Here it is:

The first thing Sean noticed about the new girl was that despite her scowl and terrible haircut, she was pretty. Then he saw the scars.

Because I was trying to limit this to 25 words, I've changed what I wanted to say if I was allotting myself more words. In trying to keep things simple and short, I've changed them. I wanted the second sentence to say, she was really, really pretty. But that doesn't really leave you hanging (not that writing should always leave you hanging). But you should have a reason to keep reading.

Let me now what you think...at least this time it's nice and simple, right?

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